


Close Your Eyes, Clear Your Heart

by CascadianRain



Series: So Long to Devotion [13]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Betrayal, Chantry Boys, Dragon Age Quest: The Last Straw, F/M, Kirkwall's Power Couple, The Chantry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 21:33:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13257063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CascadianRain/pseuds/CascadianRain
Summary: 9:37 Dragon, autumnHawke left the abomination that is Anders go for too long, and now Sebastian fears the worst. The Grand Cleric won’t listen to reason, Meredith has summoned the Champion to the Gallows to deal with the uppity mages, and Sebastian just wants one more minute to kiss the woman he loves before the city falls into chaos.In their blood the Maker’s will is written.(Contains a couple of lines of game dialogue)





	Close Your Eyes, Clear Your Heart

“How could I be so stupid?” Autumn leaves kicked up in a flurry in Hawke’s wake as she charged across the lower market in Hightown. Sparks popped around her fists.

Sebastian jogged to keep up as his gaze flicked across their surroundings. Never could be too careful these days. He pried her hand open, wincing at a static shock, and entwined their fingers. “Don’t blame yourself. He manipulated you. He knew exactly what to say to make you help him.”

Hawke scoffed. “A Tevinter potion to cure abominations—how absurd! I should’ve listened to you—”

“Hush,” Sebastian crooned, trying to sound as calm as he was not. “He’s one madman against an entire city. We’ll stop him. Cullen will find him with the directions to the hideout you gave him.”

“Only if Anders goes back there. No guarantee of that.”

They stepped into the Chantry courtyard and Hawke slowed to a stop, her eyes fixed on the towering building. “He wanted me to distract the Grand Cleric. He’s always been furious at her for remaining neutral. What could he be planning?”

“Let’s pray Cullen catches him before we find out.”

The climb up to the Chantry felt longer than usual. Sebastian slowed his pace to match Hawke’s. Exhaustion dragged at her like invisible weights tied to her shoulders. It’d been a long day already, with a nip into the Bonepit mines and trudging through the sewers on that fool’s errand for Anders. That would’ve all been fine—scrub up with a hot bath and Sebastian would make her a nice dinner, and all’s well. Sore muscles in the morning. But the blow of Anders’ deception had hit Hawke hard. She’d ignored the signs the rest of them had marked for years. Whatever creature Anders was now, he no longer felt a need to hide it. That worried Sebastian more than all of the other little fears that chirped away in his mind.

The heavy Chantry doors shut behind them, enveloping them in silence as the echoes died away. Sebastian followed Hawke as she strode toward the pulpit. Two Sisters tending a censer of smoking incense watched them as they passed, whispering furiously.

A blush darkened Sebastian’s cheeks. He’d spent as many nights in his cell as he had at Hawke’s Estate over the last few months. Hers was the altar he prayed at with heart and soul. And with other, more physical parts of him, too.

It was the Maker’s will that he should fall in love with her, and so he dedicated himself to that purpose with everything he had. When he thought of spending the rest of his days with her, no matter the danger or how short they may number, he was at peace.

Elthina greeted them with a smile. For the first time, she looked small standing there in the shadow of Andraste. A reminder that she was mortal like the rest of them. “Have you come for benedictions, child?”

“I’m afraid there’s no time, Grand Cleric,” Sebastian said. “It’s time you left Kirkwall. It isn’t safe here any longer.”

A frown creased Elthina’s face. “I see. That’s unfortunate, but my decision to remain has not changed.”

Hawke’s temper, already frayed to a single thread by the day’s events, snapped. “This is far more serious than when you sent me to meet Sister Nightingale. You _must_ go to the Divine’s side—or anywhere that’s safe. You will do more harm dead than alive!”

Elthina fixed Hawke with a disapproving stare. “I will thank you to keep your voice down. You are upsetting the Sisters.”

Hawke opened her mouth to shout back, but caught herself and clamped her jaw shut with a snarl. She turned away from them for a moment to gather herself. Sebastian felt Elthina’s eyes on him, but refused to meet them. The blush was creeping back up. From the day he arrived, age 17 and angrier than he’d ever been in his life, Elthina could see straight through his lies.

It was not so long ago that they’d argued over his vows, his plans, his inheritance. _“You’re as impulsive now as the day you arrived!”_ She may see more than he wished, but she no longer understood him. He did not bear her ill-will, simply wished she could accept that he was finally happy.

Hawke faced the Grand Cleric, her voice lower, calmer, though the undercurrent of urgency remained. “At least let me look around. Make sure everything is as it should be.”

When Elthina replied, her voice had a cold edge to it that shocked Sebastian. “I think you’ve done enough here, Serah Hawke.” Her granite gaze shot to Sebastian. Elthina did not approve of Hawke, had once snapped in annoyance at Sebastian that Hawke goaded him into heroics. No. Hawke had taught him bravery and cunning. His desire to hunt down Flint Company was heroics, but wishing to reclaim Starkhaven and rule it well was his right and duty.

Elthina’s words, possibly meant to chasten Hawke, did nothing but frustrate her further. “Fine! Let’s hope that neither of us regrets how stubborn you are!” Humility and subtlety were not in Hawke’s repertoire. She spun on her heel and charged for the doors.

Sebastian hurried to catch up and put an arm around her waist, a light touch at her hip, in the hope that it would bring even the smallest comfort amid the storm of her anger.

Hawke glanced back at the pulpit and her scowl flickered to something closer to worry.

Out in the too-bright sunlight, where everything sounded louder and more chaotic after the suppressed silence of the Chantry, Hawke’s pace didn’t slow.

“Where to?” Sebastian asked.

“My place. I need a moment to think.”

As they crossed the courtyard, Hawke darted to the shadows and there was a sharp cry. She’d grabbed one of the urchin kids by the arm. “Boy, there’s a sovereign in it for you if you tell my friends to meet me at the Hanged Man in twenty minutes. Understand?”

The boy nodded, his resentment at the forceful treatment chased away by the promise of gold.

Hawke’s grip loosened and her certainty waned. “All of them except the Darktown healer.”

“You can count on me, Champion!” The boy scampered off to deliver the message. No courier service more reliable than the Urchin Express.

The encounter drained some of her hectic energy—she’d taken action, things were underway—and the rest of the journey to her Estate was at a slower pace.

Sebastian shut the door behind them as Hawke drifted into the front room. Chevalier whined up at her. After a moment of hesitation, she dropped to a knee and began to scratch behind the Mabari’s ears.

Sebastian leaned against the door frame, arms folded loosely across his chest as he watched her. How easily this scene could be in his family’s castle. Simply forget everything outside these walls. He smiled, lost for a moment in another life.

“Elthina knows about us,” Charlie said.

He’d suspected as much as well. “She’ll understand when I explain it to her. Or she won’t. I don’t need her blessing.” He glared to the side. He had plenty of experience disappointing mother figures. It didn’t cut deep anymore, especially when it came to something he was at peace with in his heart. “We’ll deal with that once Anders is Tranquil.”

Charlie’s fingers froze mid-scratch. Her gaze fixed on him. “You’d condemn him to that?”

Sebastian took a few steps into the room. “Charlie, he hasn’t given us any choice. We can’t trust that anything of Anders is left.” He dropped his voice. “...It would be a mercy.”

Charlie looked away, heartbreak written clear on her face. “I’m sure you’re right. I’ve been blinded by my memories of the Anders from seven years ago. A healer in Darktown, hiding from Wardens and Templars, but always with that ready smile and bitter snark.”

“That’s not him anymore. We need to think about _you._ Champion or no, if Anders does anything out of line, you know Meredith will demand you answer for it.”

A laugh that was more of a sob bubbled out of her. “Oh Maker, Sebastian, why does it feel like the world is ending?”

He knelt beside her and gathered her hands in his, kissing each of her fingers in turn. “Don’t let Kirkwall trick you into thinking it’s the center of Thedas. The world is everything beyond its walls.”

A watery smile tugged at her lips. “Let’s leave—tonight. I’m sick of this place that’s taken so much from me.” She pressed her forehead to his. “But it also gave me you.”

There was a knock at the door and they both jumped. Charlie’s grip tightened almost painfully. Bodahn answered the summons and they listened to each word of the brief exchange. A message, only a message.

Charlie jumped up to meet Bodahn as he entered the front room. “Letter for you, messere.”

She ripped it open and read the brief note. She gave a humorless snort and rolled her eyes. “Meredith. Something’s going on with the Circle and apparently the all-mighty Knight-Commander needs the Champion to keep things from escalating.” The note crumpled in her fist. “That _bitch_. Prodding Orsino at every opportunity and then waving me around as an example of a ‘good mage.’ As if I don’t have enough to deal with.”

The note incinerated in her fist. Crisp ashes crumbled between her fingers. “Every time I think I can walk away... But they’re using innocents as pawns. Templar recruits and apprentice mages, being dragged into violence and prejudice by two people who shouldn’t be in power.” Clear blue eyes flicked up to meet Sebastian’s. “Let’s meet the others at the Hanged Man on our way to the Gallows. Maybe the Maker will smile on us and we can put an end to those two bickering windbags.”

Sebastian pressed a kiss to Charlie’s brow. “Their absence would certainly make the city a more peaceful place.”

“Peace… Have I ever known peace?”

“ _Blessed are they who stand before_

 _The corrupt and the wicked and do not falter_ ,” he murmured as he held her safe in his embrace.

A surprised laugh chased away Charlie’s misery. “Benedictions? For me, an apostate?”

“ _Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just_.”

Sebastian’s mouth found hers and he kissed her hard and desperate. Charlie clung to his shirt as her balance faltered, but his arms held her firm. Whether she admitted it or not, Charlotte Hawke was a peacekeeper, blessed by the Maker’s Light. Fear drove Sebastian’s passionate kiss, the tongue that slid between her lips in place of where else it might go, if only they had a little more time. He was desperate to make up for all the years they’d wasted. Charlie didn’t know the Chant as well as he, or she might understand his sudden shift.

Benedictions 4:11.

_Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow._

_In their blood the Maker’s will is written._

\+ + +

The explosion rocked through the city like a massive fist punching down into the heart of the bedrock. Crimson light drowned the sky, throwing the horror etched into each of their faces into sharp relief.

“ _Maker, no!_ ” Sebastian fell to his knees with an anguished cry. Elthina—the Sisters—his home for the last fifteen years—were all wiped out in an instant, reduced to flaming rumble raining down around them. His pain cut deep into Charlie, past crackling hum of disbelief. “Why didn’t she listen to us?”

It didn’t take long for the shock to wear off and Meredith and Orsino to return to their squabbling. The Knight-Commander threw around ‘Rite of Annulment’ like it was nothing. Like staining the hands of the Maker’s champions with the blood of innocents was nothing. Orsino was no better, sowing dissent among cornered, desperate mages capable of atrocities if pushed too far.

As Champion of Kirkwall, it was Hawke’s duty to maintain order in the city. Tonight there would be a reckoning of all those who stood in her way.

Meredith should have known better. Hawkes don’t like cages.

“Are you with me, Champion?” the Knight-Commander asked.

Hawke met Meredith’s eye and smiled. “I serve the city.”

“Why are we debating the Rite of Annulment when the monster who did this is standing right here? I swear to you, I will kill him.” The fury in Sebastian’s snarl was like nothing Hawke had ever heard from him. He’d always kept a cool head, only coming close to breaking his control when he faced the demon behind his family’s murder. This was raw.

Meredith’s cool gaze touched on Anders, sitting calmly on a crate and appearing to be oblivious to them. “Yes, quite. He was your companion. I’ll leave you to deal with him, Champion.” With that, she swept away, her Templars in tow, to organize the assault on the Circle.

There was a tremor in Hawke’s chest as she exhaled. Her companions stood by, watching her, all except Sebastian, who seemed barely able to hold himself back from pounding his fist into Anders’ face until there was nothing but blood and bone.

Hawke steeled herself to come face to face with her deepest fear come manifest in another mage. If Anders was in there, it was in a cage of his own making, trapped in a body he no longer controlled.

“Looks like you didn’t need me to distract the Grand Cleric after all. After you had everything you needed, you didn’t need me. You just wanted to make me even more complicit to this—this— _murder_.” She caught herself and took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. _Arms-length._

“I had to act,” not-Anders said. “They needed to be pushed to action.”

“Do you have any idea how many people are going to die because of you? Who have already died? Innocents—”

"They are not innocent!" The blue light sparked and Hawke fought not to flinch. As she’d suspected. It was Vengeance, still pretending to be Anders.

“Kill me then. I have fulfilled my purpose here.”

“You would like that, wouldn’t you? Forcing me to choose between my friend and my city.” She glanced at Sebastian. If Anders walked away from this, Sebastian would not stop hunting him until one of them was dead.

“Why are you hesitating?” Sebastian demanded. Hurt ran beneath his words. “Would you be undecided if I had been in the Chantry?”

An unfair question, but she forgave him. His first family was murdered by woman serving a demon, and now his second family was murdered by an abomination that had stolen a body. Now he thought the one person he had left might value a memory over him. Sebastian didn’t understand. Hawke knew she had to kill Anders, but it _wasn’t_ Anders—it was her fear she had to kill. If she’d been stolen by Templars and thrown in a Circle, if she’d not been raised with careful training by her father, if she’d only had a moment of weakness when a demon strayed near… She could be looking in a mirror right now.

The knife did not tremble in her hand. “Anders was my friend. You are Anders no longer.”

She had to push harder than she thought. It’d have been easier from the front, but she didn’t want to look him in the eye. This was bad enough.

She took a step back as Anders’s body fell to the stones. Her companions were silent, she felt their eyes on her back. Sebastian stood apart, head bowed toward the burning pillar that was once the Chantry, his hand outstretched.

“Blessed be the souls of the faithful that they ascend to your right hand...”

Many more souls would cross the Veil before this night was done. Too long had the corrupt and wicked held sway.

**Author's Note:**

> When I was trying to come up with a title, I was struck by how appropriate the Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear was for Hawke in this one. Dune/Dragon Age crossover, what.
> 
> Title comes from the Killers's song "Human," for which the series is named (it IS the series in a song, basically; inspiration tied up with an incredible voice)
> 
> Anyway, final installment should be a bit less serious ;)


End file.
